With all the ecclesiastical fireworks of late, the Pan-Amazon Synod has fallen off the burner for many. Perhaps that’s for the best.

But as many commentators (bishops among them) have already pointed out, the upcoming Synods on Amazonia and Youth portend disastrous direction and content, as will continue to unfold if they are allowed to go forward.

Regarding this Pan-Amazon Synod in particular, we expect something incredibly wicked is cooking. More on that to come.

For now, we limit ourselves to cataloguing the impressive array of revisionist protologisms, tergiversations, and semi-theological jargon contained in the relatively brief preparatory document, just for the record.

After paring down the list, we found ourselves wondering if a word-association engine would even guess “Catholic Bishop” as a possible author (that might be an enlightening experiment). “Liberal Ideologue” would doubtless rank higher – although “LGBT” was notably missing. The Youth Synod picked it up instead.

In any case, below is our reduced list of eighty, in alphabetical order.

As you read, just recall that this is a document ostensibly drafted by Successors of the Apostles, whose task is to guard and govern the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church, extending the reign of Christ on earth. Keeping this in mind will help the faithful to understand their own justifiable reaction: “What the hell?”

New Paradigms are coming. Buckle up.